then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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