Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
