Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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