Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Randomize
