I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
