After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Farmville is her only friend.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
