i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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