I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
