I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
