uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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