i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
