im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
