i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
