Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is wine microwaveable?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Help. Why am I so naked?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
