I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
3 2 1 whiskey
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
