just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
