Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
