i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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