sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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