She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
