I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
