He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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