My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Couch. On fire.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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