9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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