so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
