Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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