New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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