his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
