Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
