when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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