i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
