Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
