I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
