My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
