wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
