are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
