Betty ford says i'm here all night
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
