dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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