Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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