i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
