remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
