I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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