Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
