Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
