ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
