I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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