he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
