Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
