Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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