no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
