just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
